Carlotta Casals Gallegos

Happy Birthday La.

It has been 16 years but I still terribly miss you.

Your cooking, your kind of loving and most of all your fire within.

Wherever I go, you remain (pointing to my heart) with me.

Jin’s SUN Warriors

Winter this year have been quite mean and so now that spring is here, we couldn’t wait to get out and enjoy the SUN. Coming from the tropics, you would expect that we would have had enough of the heat but I guess our skins and spirit will always long for days out in the SUN.

We have been lucky to have wet weekdays and SUNNY weekends.

Oh, and for 2 weekends in a row, we got our dose of SUN vitamin.

A week before, we went hiking along the rain forest of Waitakere. It was still chilly but we can’t wait to get out. Laagan we are.

And this week, we had fun at the Farmer’s Market of Matakana. It was a lovely SUNNY day. We had lunch across Goat Island and stopped by a pottery barn. We had gelato at Charlie’s and had a fun time out in the SUN up the winery.

Hmmm, and we certainly did have Jin in mind when we took this warrior photo because I cannot bear to disappoint our friend who wanted an updated blog. =) mwah

Here is the link to more photos on Facebook.

Caligula and Arwana

Kevin is Roland’s 6:00 pm. He works together with Peter (an NZ soap opera dakilang extra). They are tasked to move Kevin so he does not get bed sores and give him a shower or sponge bath.

Kevin is a giant of a man – an ex rugby player. It takes a lot of muscles to move him about but it is not the pulling and the pushing that is a challenge but rather the mood swings and the grumpiness that his caregivers will have to endure.

One day, he will love you to pieces, even gives you the honor to be the one to clean his dentures. Yes, cleaning his dentures is a task only given to the one he favors. But the next day, he will go totally balistic and if you are not careful, a punch at the waist or the neck or any place his hugeness of an arm lands. While he can only deliver uncoordinated punches, it is the heaviness of his arms that you will have to escape away from. Imagine moving him and restraining his arms at the same time. Good luck to that.

And so he is Caligula to us. The meanest of them all. He is critical to everything you do to him and mumbles words that you can comprehend only to be swear words starting with ‘rubbish’.

Many caregivers (that I have talked to) would hands down agree that it is not the patient that is difficult to work with BUT the family. Kevin lives with his wife which we have given the monicker of ‘Arwana’ the fish. Her eyes are like the arwanas’, gawking at your every move. She is quite haughty and I suppose she is doing this as part of her servitude to the hub.

On a good day, Arwana would cut out old newspaper clippings that showed articles with Kevin on it. Kevin looked really handsome and kind then. Photos of her with her flight attendant friends on tour where the airline tooked them. She was tall, already haughty looking but was always with company. With friends at the park, with family on a boat, with Kevin beside her…

Oh, and she always wore dark macabre outfits. It enhances her fair skin and ivory hair. (very conservative, I reckon)

She fuzzes about how Peter and Roland would put Caligula into a hoist for pulling him up. She follows your footsteps to make sure you have clean feet or socks. Either that or she just loves bossing people around. The work is a challenge with her checking their every move. Yet, Peter and Roland have withstood the longest where others could only handle for a day. They found friendship. Roland helped Peter get the top caregiver award. Peter humors him with his television stints and auditions (“never the lead role, buddy!” that is his line)

As for Caligula and Arwana, oh well, they are just characters in this journey.

Fr. Mary

Father Mary fills 1 hour of Roland’s Saturdays starting at 8:00 am. I think he is really Murray (it is a common name here) or Mari (as this could be a man’s name) but everyone calls him Mary or at least that is how they pronounce his name. Fr. Mary is 92 years old. He was an Irish soldier at 20 and fought some war. He got his foot endured in battle so he was moved to a farm in Italy where he worked and they made cheese to be sent out to feed the soldiers. It was only at 32 when he found his calling to priesthood. He spent most of his masses at parishes in Australia. He is a Redemptorist priest. He also spent some of his years in Samoa before moving to New Zealand. The Mother of Perpetual Help parish in Glendowie is home to him and his other brothers in Christ. A younger priest takes care of the older priests. On Sundays, they hear the 8:00 am mass at the backside of the pulpit. There are about 6 of them of the same age and is not able to say mass anymore. They are sent via wheelchair to hear mass and brought back to their rooms after receiving communion. Fr. Mary stays in his bed all day. He has a television set in his room and during meal time, the younger priest wheels them to the dinner table where all the priest gather and eats together. They do not have family to visit them. In fact, the parishioners may not have even seen them. Fr Mary is very familiar with the Filipino culture as the Redemptorist have been very active setting us parishes in the Philippines. He knows a lot of Filipino priests and some few ’swear’ words that his friends have taught him. He takes his bath by himself but Roland needs to accompany him because one of the older priest slipped in the bathroom and died. Now, the house rule includes always having someone around when a priest (as old as Fr. Mary) does their bath. Oh yes, it is only on Saturday mornings that he does his shower. On other days, he is given a warm sponge bath by another caregiver.

Fr Mary can’t wait to be called up to heaven. When that day comes, he says he will be very happy to meet Peter at the gates. He can’t wait to be home.

Meet Anna

Anna is Roland’s 5pm. She lives in Epsom by herself and she is 95 years old. His grandson visits him daily, joins her for dinner and leaves. He says she is old enough to take care of herself. (grrrh) Indeed! As Anna would always say — “I am not old.” period.

The first day Roland came to her house. Her neighbors came to check on her. Making sure she was safe with this newbie. They watch each others back. Lovely, isn’t it?

Anyway, she is a fit and sane golden girl. She just needs help with the cleaning of her kitchen. She has a huge kitchen after all and you would think she was into parties during her prime. (It will remain a guess).

She fusses a lot about her kitchen. Bones should be wrapped in tissue paper and placed in plastic containers, kept in the refrigerator until it is time to throw the trash. This to keep the trash odorless. (amazing!)

Only 1 drop of liquid soap. One drop per washing. Manual washing is to be done to save on electricity. And she keeps track of her spending too. Smart woman.

You cannot fault her for being super critical. How can one not fall for her ‘Oh, I hope I did not hurt your feelings’ line everytime she starts to lecture.

Roland fits in cooking, cleaning and closing her home in one hour. Roland cooks her soup and making sure that the medicine is dropped in. She takes her prescriptions this way. While having her dinner with his grandson, Roland starts cleaning her oven and keeps a mental list of all her requests or rather demands.  And oh, even the clearing of the table has a set routine.

After dinner, the grandson leaves and Anna (or Nana) goes to her room and Roland completes the kitchen clean up, turns off all the lights and closes the house. The locks are through a series of number codes to close the doors. She is literally locked in her own home.

Another person comes in the morning to open up and clean the house for her. And what does Nana do all day? She watches the news. Walks in her garden, and talks to her friendly neighbors. She refuses to think of her age. She says she will out live her 28 year old grand son. She walks gracefully. She tells Roland that she was a dancer.

She choses topic to talk about but never about her life. The news, yes. The neighbors, yes. The weather, yes. The grand son and the girl friend she never met, yes. But never about how she lived her life.

Only a picture of her children sits by her bed side. Her house is very pretty (clean and in order) but stripped off of things that links to her. A photo album perhaps, photos of her husband perhaps or trinkets that tells a story of her — you will not find there.

Maybe that is the secret to her life. To never hold on to things and people. Or keep memories. (I will just have to pressume)

For what we know is only that she was a dancer and that the kitchen is her sanctuary.

And oh how she loves Roland’s bisaya soup. The version Roland made for her made her sweat. =)

Dinner Conversations

Dinner is my little family’s “us” time. I grew up with everyone always assembled for dinner and so this tradition thrived. When Roland took on his second job, it required him to get home at 8:00 pm. We started dinner without him but it never felt complete and so it is, dinner at our house starts at 8:00 pm.

Each one tells a story. Basti starts with his random summary of the days’ tv news. Whales found along Mission Bay. Black Eyes Peas coming to Auckland… Bits and pieces that interest him and then trivia and knock knock jokes he picks up from school.

Insoy on the other hand is obsessed with music, bands, friends on his band (who is in, who is out), hot girls in school. And by an off chance, news of him passing a test or getting an award.

I, on the other hand, would just give them heads up on what the weekend would be like. I take up the role of the listener most of the time as I have never been good at saying it as it is (without my sister analyzing what I really meant. oh GOD! I miss that girl!)

Lucky for us, I married an animated storyteller of a husband. I suppose that is how he pulls off excitement into his caregiving job. Each night, we step vicariously into the lives of Kevin, Anna, Mary and Frank. He keeps us glued to our seats and begging for desert.

I will compile their stories and share them here. Up next…

Something’s Gotta Give

The weather has been kinder and I so look forward to weekends of walking around our neighborhood. I love to gawk at the beautiful houses at Mt. Taylor but it is the old character houses that makes me want to win the lotto now (as in right now). I am an old soul. I heart the houses with ‘kaydas’ (porch) ala victorian era. It brings me back to my childhood where we would sit on the porch and just people watch. I want to grow old living in a house with a kayda and sit on a rattan drinking hot tea.

The floors of my dream house would be wood and will have all the interiors from Diane Keaton’s  Hampton beach house from the movie ‘Something’s Gotta Give.

I want to have a room like this. A study facing a window.

and Oh her kitchen was perfect. I don’t mind spending my weekends cleaning this house.

… a living room with huge windows that looks out to the backyard.

Tomorrow, I shall prepare myself for an interesting walk. I have signed up for a Fun Walk for next month too. I will walk and feast on the structural eye candies along the route.

And for a few miles of walking, I will imagine being Diane Keaton, a playwright being pursued by Keanu Reeves but ends up with Jack Nicholson. Or perhaps I could be the Italian Franchesca Johnson (Meryl Streep) of the Bridges of Madison County.

Let it be known. I daydream when I walk. =) and I really go overboard… specially with the houses that sets the inspiration for my “dream” travels.

The Day that Was

Yesterday, I took a leave.

Woke up at 7:30 am and didn’t waste time to dismantle the dip pans from the oven and do the cleaning. I had 9 more hours until the owner of our flat comes and says what she needed to say after her inspection.

After the oven, I did the floors, the garden, the rooms, the carpet, the laundry and lastly the toilet and bath. Oh, I dusted the tables and even “exit moulded” all the window seals and top of the kitchen cupboards. I was on a schedule. I was seriously thinking of making a career of it.

After taking a shower, I decided it was time to eat my lunch at 3:30 pm. Talk about uptight. =)

The kids came home. They were careful not to disturb the OC cleanliness of the flat. They tiptoed to their rooms and sat on their beds waiting for Ms Jenny to arrive.

Then the hub came and he took his spot at the living room sofa waiting…

Ms. Jenny arrived on time. She took off her shoes from the kitchen door where she entered and instantly check if the ceiling had moulds. Inspected every inch of the windows. She was single, and reminded me so much of Micmic (my sister).   The way she scrutinized objects. She admired how clean the flat was and that she couldn’t believe she once lived here. She was impressed by the decors that made it looked spacious. (or the lack of it…) She immediately went to the garden to check on her plants and then went to each room and lingered at the bathroom.

It helped that I am a bathroom obsessed person like she was. She said I cleaned it better than she would have done it. Ahem.

Roland was still plastered on the sofa when she told the agent that she was very impressed with how clean the house was and that she expects to see us another year and a year after that. She thanked us for paying the rent on time always and that to let her know if we needed anything fixed. She was very happy, I could tell.

She said she was going to do another inspection in 6 months and the agent will be doing another one in 3 months. I don’t care. I just felt so relieved and gratified.

And so to celebrate, the hub cooked sweet and sour pork for dinner. I had a feast. I overstayed at the dinner table, feeling stuffed and satisfied of the day that was.

Me thinks, my emotions does rub off on the hub and kids because they too were relieved that the day was finally over and my worries have left the front door. Madam Castaneda (my grade 6 english teacher) calls it ‘Cancerous’.

Rain visits Auckland

Rain and me (basti in the background )

I will not allow her to leave Auckland without us meeting.  I had been stalking her site ever since Aileen wrote about it.  We had dinner at Nando’s and I am still in awe at how super this “dalaga” is.  She is so full of talent and I wish her all the best for Graphic Star NZ. Mag “eye-ball” na pud unya mi together with Normita the next time she visits.  She not only bewilder men but bewilders women as well. Attractive gyud siya in person. (very charming). Sa sunod Rain, I will be driving and will know where to go. =)

May Colors

May passed us by so quickly, it would seem that the days are in a mad rush to 2010.

Each day continues to be a blessing for us despite not having much and I am not only thankful but wishful that family and friends around the world, draw closer to their destiny.

 * For Ayen who graduated top of her class. Valedictorian does not only stand for the best in class but for a supergirl, supermom, superwife and superfriend who I will always be proud of. Nurse Ayen, may your new wings take you higher.

* For Malou (the amazona) who will be facing up to a new challenge this weekend, my prayers are with you and I believe that someone up there is watching over you, as always. Sending you angels that will sooth your emotions.

* For Ananda Celine who has turned into a beautiful 1 year old, I continue to wish I could hold you one day. For now, your photos and stories give comfort in the knowing that you are well.

* For Micmic who is married to the academe, I will always be here to support you and love you — bad hair days or not.

* and for Mom, who I feel so much for. No day passes by without me knocking and pleading on heaven’s door that your troubles will soon be over. You will always have Auckland. We await.