Frank is Roland’s 4pm. The couple live in Meadowbank near Mt. Carmel church. They have a lovely 2 story home and Frank spends long hours in his study slash garage downstairs while Crissy (his wife) does the grocery, cleaning up, cooking and moving about. Frank has alzheimers (or dementia). He only remembers summers he spends in his hometown 6 hours away from Auckland. He keeps on repeating memories with his mum by the sea, fishing with his brothers and takes very long hours in the toilet getting lost in his memories of youth. He loves watching ‘Who wants to be a millionaire.’ When he takes too much time in the loo, Roland would put the volume of the TV up so he can hear the ticking of the tv show’s timer for contestants to answer the questions. This always works. Frank immediately moves into the lounge to watch his favorite show. The couple have 2 children. One lives in Melbourne and the other in Wellington. They have been together by themselves for more than 20 years since the children have left home. Frank’s brother also has dementia and is taken cared of by the wife.
One day, Crissy have decided to put Frank in a home. A retirement home. It was heartbreaking for her. She called this – “the beginning of the end”.But she can’t take care of Frank no more. He has started to be stubborn like a 4 year old. He takes longer hours by himself as if in another world. She can’t leave the house knowing Frank will be all by himself. She tried so hard to be in his new world but she is a stranger.
It was heartbreaking. Roland was there when she told Frank he had to go to another home.
Frank loves history. He loves to listen to Lapulapu & Magellan’s story (Roland’s version). Never mind that Roland repeats the same story. He listens to it with excitement as if it was the first time he hears it each time.
On weekends, Roland picks up Crissy from their home and they drive together to the rest home which is a few blocks from his Meadowbank home. Crissy always brings food along and looks forward to feeding Frank.
There are Filipina nurses in this facility. Frank has all their attention. He has introduced Roland to them as his son.
One hour filled with story telling, foot massages and feeding. Dinner time at the facility is at 5:00. Frank tells Crissy she has to leave. Some days, he does not recognize her. Some days, he says he misses his wife. But most days, it is summer at his beach home with his mum and brothers.
I have yet to meet Frank and Crissy. Their story comes alive at our dinner table. I’m sure if I meet Crissy, I would give her a tight hug. I heart her strenght and I am sure Frank had been a good man for her to care for him up to this day.
