April Fools

April 1 is April fools day. My friend J joked that I will start with a new job on April 1. April fools. We joked about it but when the laughter mellowed, I whispered – “God, can I start on April 1?”

Day 15, I literally had to sprint 10 blocks from EastRidge to Mission Bay (after I missed my 9:45 bus) because my 2nd interview with APN starts at 10:30. I was really really really late. It was 10:15 and the 757 bus driver told me I looked horrible. My knees were about to break down due to the sprints uphill and downhill. Worst, Mr. CTO called to confirm if I was coming to meet him that day. I told him I was on my way but I will be late. My 2nd interview with the CTO and his boss in Australia due for a conference call and I totally screwed it (sorry for the language). When I arrived, I was stressed, nervous, harrassed, red in the face and anxious. (a mixture of unknown emotions just combined together in my guts as well). I was asked to sign some papers and then the interview started. My voice quivered, my nerves were not cooperating with me that day, I felt I wanted to cry. I got myself together somewhere around the 30th minute of the 1 hour and 45 days er minutes interview. I f*kd up big time. I don’t know what happened but Mr. T toured me around the Development area after our discussion.

March 26, day 16 in Auckland, I received a call from APN early this morning, they told me they have my job offer and they have specified a commencement date of April 1. The rate was higher than what I expected. Tell me this is not a hoax. I got the employment contract from Mr. CTO’s assistant. I read it, made sure the date and years were all in 2008.

When J got home from work, we both looked over the document. She confirms it is real. April 1 it is. The day I start my work as Analyst Programmer Support for APN. Oh, I can’t wait for that day to come. I am getting myself a make over, then do cart wheels down Mission Bay and ride the 757 bus to work. I swear I will wake up early and pray and thank God every day for all the wonderful miracles He has done for me.

Thank you for all your prayers, we did it. Life is good and wonderful.

Meet Maria

Today, I am officially called Maria. Pick out a Kiwi name the recruitment consultant said. Something that is easy for a Kiwi to use. Maria is common here.

Maria is part of my full name but Kiwis want names to be simplified. They think Consuelo is too foreign a name. And so Maria it is. It takes a little getting used to.

Maria might be my lucky charm. As long as I remember that this is my new name now, then I will be unstoppable.

Not bad for a start. A Kiwi name that I hope does magic on my CV being read and pushed to the interview stage. Good as Gold they say.

My New Country

I left Cebu, my family and my friends for you.

New Zealand! Show me what you’ve got! Here I come.

Chant: Kung dili ko ka kita trabaho in 2 weeks, bogo kaayo ko.

Of Auckland and of Supergirls

It is exactly 13 hours before I fly to New Zealand. It seems the goodbyes and the packing do not seem to have an ending. I had stomach cramps last week and now I have regular urges to go to the bathroom. The emotions going through me right now are not the imaginary kind, they are real but they are unexplanable. I have never felt this way, this unsettling kind of feeling.

Supergirl Aileen Siroy will also be heading back to Manila a few hours from now. She flew to Cebu from a Dumaguete trip to celebrate my birthday. She and the rest of the supergirls did a truly special and unforgettable night of singing, picture taking and laughter. I don’t know how I could ever repay their super dose of kindness for me. Oh, to the rest of the super girls who were not able to make it that night, we missed you and kept you in our thoughts everytime songs of friendships were belted out by our in house diva.

Malou – you not only have a very beautiful face but you also have the most beautiful soul. thank you for giving me your genuine kind of friendship. you made my birthday super special with your presence. i still can’t believe how our friendship bloomed in the few months i have known you. i will surely miss your pretty smile and your pagka-amazona when it comes to your principles and dreams. thank you for your friendship and TLC.

Mimi – you are undoubtedly a very talented woman. I think you can be in 10 places at one time and yet do the things you do tirelessly well. You carry so many roles like mother, wife, bank officer, sister, diva, daughter, neice, and friend and lately sports star player, but I think you are best at being you. The you that I know who have the most contagious laughter and the most spontaneous brand of wit that only a smartie (rhymes with marty) and charmer like you can pull off. i will miss you.

Kaith – you are a 60 year old woman trapped in 20 year old body. when you blog or talk about a certain topic, it makes me feel you have lived long enough to have a mature opinion about it. mas tarong pa ka mo think nako most of the time. i am still wondering how you could possibly be so fiesty while keeping the sweetest face with matching sweetness of your ilongga tongue. your eyes can do the talking. they are very expressive specially when you are filled with emotions. your eyes speaks big about your inner strength and i will surely miss you. thank you to you and your baby for staying up late for me and for helping organize the party.

Aileen – i am glad to see you more and more relaxed in the occasions we have been together recently. you tease a lot and laugh a lot too. this makes you even more beautiful because your inner beauty radiates beyond your tanned skin. if this is what diving can do to you, i will conquer my fear of water. my birthday was made special with your presence. thank you ma’m aileen. i hope you realize how much of you have made an impact and wonderful kind of influence in my life. pwede na ka magtukod ug kulto or go into politics and i will be there to support you. i will miss your talent and the magic you do to photos and the people around you. thank you for everything.

Therese – you never settle for less. you always do things in a perfectly big way. i cannot thank you enough for baking my birthday cake. the flowers and basket of goodies that came together with it, matched perfectly. i felt like akio’s eldest sister (ambisyosa ba) nga nag-debut. you are a natural mother and ate. you do things with passion but your gentle spirit seeps through. i see winner written all over kusina habanas future. its been a few weeks that you have been away from Mark and we just have to keep you busy, otherwise, you might take that next flight to the US. I feel you. I think (basin ako ra ni) that the reason I heart you like a sister is that you understand the things that is going through my head right now as you have been in a similar situation. i will definitely miss you and nasayanggan ko that i won’t be able to stay long enough to hear you talk about colorful stories (mostly green and purple) the longer you are away from Mark. thank you heaps.

“In life, GOD doesnt give you the people you want. Instead He gives you the people you need. To teach you, to hurt you, to love you and to make you exactly the way you should be.”

THANK YOU SUPER GIRLS.

“The importance of friends in our lives are like the importance of heartbeats. Though they are not visible. They silently lend you the gift called LIFE.”

When I board the plane tomorrow, I will carry the beautiful memories we shared and those memories will stop the tears. That is how super you truly are. Thank you!

To whom it may concern, this entry is not fiction. The Supergirls exist and it is so true what I say about them being super nice. Wala silang katapat.

Multiply

3 years ago, I mocked a friend who spent sleepless nights chatting with friends she found on the internet. I told her it was unthinkable to find real people on the net as they were psychos trying to be nice and wanting to be your friend and later ask money from you. Oh, the horrible thoughts I could think of. For someone in technology, I am ironically cynical.

I still believe in some of the things I told her but a lot of it changed today.

Other than the people I work with, I do have a very select group of friends who I have known since elementary – classmates mostly and those I grew up with. We meet seldomly in a year but when we do talk, it always feels like the old times. It is always as if the now did not matter.

See, my friends have always been people who I have had met in school, my neighborhood and my work. I would never go to a party without knowing that a friend was there and I could chat with her without being left out. I would come in and leave un-noticed during gatherings. I am selectively shy. I am shy around my peers but never shy around children. I have all this insecurities that I can’t even seem to explain how on earth did it came about. (unexplainable)

But, faith has this way of mocking you back. I got to meet Lloyd’s girlfriend Zar back then. Zar introduced me to Multiply and I met THE Aileen Siroy. Aileen introduced me to her other friends and now the mocking is on me. I now spend late nights sharing photo assignments, reading other people’s blog, being excited about other people’s accomplishments, idolizing strangers (i have never met in person), and now I am even blogging.

Amazingly, faith had a way of making things fall into place at the right time. At a time when I have to make big decisions in my life, I am getting the “cheering” from the strangers I have just met through Multiply. And it indeed is making me change a lot of what I used to be.

Today, I still don’t know what to say at a party but I am now not afraid to meet strangers for the 1st time. Today, I got a sincere labor of love and show of friendship from someone who I used to stalk online for her brave and inspirational take on life (she even cooked a very special kind of sardines and included moist brownies with it). Thanks to this very beautiful person who is lovelier inside, who fulfills her promises and is my best cheerleader ever. Thanks to Beyond Normal. Today, I am not afraid to drive on roads I have never been to because someone in Singapore who I recently met in January is providing both the strength, love and craziness that I need for this trip. Thank to THE Bangs. =)

If friends are the family we create, I have created a very warm and loving family indeed and I found the sincerest Super Girls online. They lift you up, they invite you to meet their parents, they surprise you, they love you like you grew up with them your whole life, they accept you even if you make a booboo in life and they will cry with you too. The feeling of community and closeness has been very warm among people here and I am still amazed at how everyone seem so unbelievably kind. I have been an unbeliever but now I am fully converted.

I am now not afraid to say what I feel. I am now bold to talk about my insecurities. Que si hoda! I don’t even know what it means but I don’t care. I don’t care if I am not understood. This is my blog anyway. Que horror. I can write in german if that is what I fancy. I don’t need to belong to a “category”, young, old, ugly, pretty. There, I have said it. We are all specially and phenomenally wonderful.

I am also happy to find most of my friends from work and school online and I am happy to read their thoughts which would not have been possible when we meet otherwise. I am happy they share their accomplishments, their parenthood firsts, paranoias, and fears too.

I am reading my sister’s blog and I have never realized how much her work and space means to her. She is reading my thoughts too which makes it even. =)
I respect that some people sometimes say half truths because they want to keep some anonymity. I truly respect that.

The people I met online I believe have a deeper understanding of who I am because they are reading my thoughts as compared to assumptions I get when people start to try to understand me when they first meet me.

If this is how multiplied feels, then I will not only blog but multiply friendships online and offline. Lesson learned. No more mocking, okay?

I’m glad that I met my online friends at a time that really mattered. When and where I need them the most. My fears are now tucked in little jars that have long been covered six feet under the ground because you are there.