Mana Tuling lived with our family ever since I remembered. She is Manang Celing to others, Mama to my brother, Nanay to my sister and I was the only one who called her that. I christened her that name because I talked with a lisp when I started mouthing words. Until today, I call her that while everyone else calls her Nanay.
I grew up with my grandparents in Sikatuna and moved to my parents house in Banilad, where the rest of my siblings stayed, on weekends. I am so used to packing because I had to pack on Friday nights to go to Banilad and pack my stuff again on Sunday to go back to Sikatuna. This I did until I was old enough for high school. My sister and I went to the same school but we lived in a different house. For some time, I believed “nakit-an ra ko sa basura” (found in the garbage) which was the reason for the arrangement but later I decided it was better to believe I was so lovable — I had to be shared by 2 families. =)
My mother was and is until today a corporate slave. She left the tending of the house and my siblings to Mana Tuling. I detested her. I hated her so much and the feeling was mutual. My siblings treated her like a mother. They would hide her luggage and run after the tricycle on unusual days where she had to go home to her hometown for a day. When my mom goes out of town for weeks of travel, none of my siblings did the clingy over-reacting they do for Mana Tuling.
Mana Tuling was adored no end by my siblings while I grew to detest her even more. At one time, I hated her so much that I even threatened to kill her with a kitchen knife unless she gets off my back. I was a super hormonal & moody kind of teenager then.
Through the years, our relationship grew from “i hate that i am a stranger in Banilad” kind to “she is so nosy, she is a spy” kind to “i will just have to accept that she is part of the family as long as she stays by a 10 foot pole away from me” kind to “oh, i wish i could find someone who is as loyal as her” kind, and to finally the less complex “i am thankful she was there in my life to challenge me” kind.
Mana Tuling introduced me to sardines on weekends, her specialty would be to cook it with eggs.
While now we have left Banilad to pursue our own lives, Mana Tuling is still with my parents. I am glad that she is there to take care of my mom and challenge my dad from time to time with her spying. She is loyal & passionate and I envy that she has this kind of “abandon her dreams” attitude just to spend her whole life to care for our family. She never got married.
Sardines remind me of her.
It took years until I realized how Mana Tuling is of value to us and it made me realize that hatred is too much of a burden to bear, it injures the hater more than the hated.
Thank you Mana Tuling. =) I can’t mouth I love you but you definitely have all my respect and gratitude.
